HAPPY NEW YEAR....

EVERY DAY IS A NEW BEGINNING AND EVERY MONTH IS A NEW ROAD AND EVERY YEAR IS A NEW LIFE

SO LET US ALL  BE HAPPY,FORGET EVIL,FORGET WORK,FORGET ABOUT STRESS AND EVERYTHING THAT TROUBLES US..FOR THIS YEARS BEGINNING LETS GIVE IMPORTANCE TO OUR LOVED ONES AND FOLKS...

TO FAMILY!!!

I always loved hairstyles..and love experimenting by cutting at different angles and giving layers.Recently i had to trim my sisters hair and now its unique and pretty

What i did was,I gave a normal V-cut and add layers to it that it stands out..it is different from normal layer and yet so close to it....

Here is a picture...

Comment if you like!

Did I tell you people that my cat gave birth to three beautiful kittens?well I'm telling you now....

#cuteness_alert

#simply_adorable


















I am so in love...anyone in Oman(near or in Sohar) can contact me through comments,if you wish to adopt kittens....

WAITING FOR THE CHANGE:

The beginning of 11^th seemed as though it would take long to finish it…but now I am just few months away from graduation and then to a new world consisting my home place and college…

Everything that ends will start another new beginning or something like that or like every end has a beginning .I am excited for the change that would come, as much as I am afraid of it...The school for us 12thies have ended and from now it only would be exams or remedial classes..

The boards are approaching soon and I would be packed to India like half of my classmates…leaving this Arab country would mean a lot of thing such a breaking out of the comfort bubble that we are in…
There is this stress of scoring good marks as if our life depended on it…It seems as though what we do in these three month  will drastically change  our lives…

 I would be missing a bunch of my friends, well all of them from the quiet one to the weird one who stares and acts that he is the almighty..They all are so different and I don’t ever think I will be seeing something like them very soon…

The year is about to end, there are no resolutions this year, nothing but studying like we have never studied before. I am not ready to cope with these changes yet but I know I’ll soon be one of those bookworms who would be getting up only for eating or for nature calls.

I am still not sure what I want to be, my fickle mind is still having conflicting thoughts to what I should start pursuing in the future…I might not be very successful by following my dreams but I want to follow my dreams…

I have always followed what I believed in even if it is somehow very ridiculous, the boards are just few stones that I will pass during my lifetime. Each one of you must be preparing for something or another. I am preparing to find my destiny…

I have always felt bad for those engineering students who have to study a bunch of textbooks but again I wish you all the best so you know I mentioned you in the post..

Love,

Anagha

A THANKYOU NOTE:A MONTH AGO,I WAS A DIFFERENT PERSON.A PERSON THAT I DID NOT UNDERSTAND AND DID NOT CARE OR UNDERSTAND ANYTHING OR ANYONE ELSE..BUT TODAY WHEN I WRITE THIS I FEEL A CHANGE..I FEEL DIFFERENT AND NOT SO QUITE MYSELF..ITS LIKE THAT CHANGE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR...

I HAVE BEEN PUTTING UP A LOT OF THINGS FOR LATER..I HAVE LOST MANY THINGS DUE T THAT,BUT BY WRITING THIS I WISH TO SAY THANKS TO THAT MANY WHO STAYED THERE AND WITNESSED THE PART OF ME THAT WERE'NT THAT GOOD...

LIKE ANY OTHER GIRL,I CRY A LOT...NOT MANY HAVE WITNESSED THAT BUT THERE ARE AGAIN A FEW WHO KNOWS THIS AND HAVE PUT UP WITH IT..NIGHT AFTER NIGHT I CRIED SEEKING SOLACE IN TIREDNESS AND FATIGUE...I STARVED MYSELF SO I COULD SLEEP AT NIGHT..NOT MANY KNEW THIS...

BUT TODAY,I AM DIFFERENT AND I FEEL DIFFERENT..LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME THAT IT CAN BE SHITTY AT TIMES...WELL,A LOT OF TIMES TO BE EXACT BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CARE AND THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT MATTER..MY PROBLEMS WILL ALWAYS BE TINY COMPARED TO MANY OTHERS...BUT FOR THOSE FEW WHO CARED....I WANNA SAY I APPRECIATE IT...

YOU HAVE APPRECIATED ME AND HAVE SEEN ME AS A GIRL..I MAY BE A CHILD,A KID TOTALLY IMMATURE BUT THANKYOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME...THANKYOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME WHEN IT MATTERED....

SOMETIMES ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS BELIEVE BECAUSE IN THE END IT WILL ALWAYS TURN ALRIGHT...EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND WE JUST HAVE TO FIND BEAUTY IN EVERYTHING..

THINGS HAVE QUITE TURNED OUT GOOD FOR ME..THE CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE NOT CHANGED ACCORDING TO MY WISH BUT I CHANGED...AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERED

THANK YOU AGAIN...

ITS BEEN AGES SINCE I LAST BLOGGED...I WANT TO SAY SORRY AS I HAVE BEEN BUSY WITH THE HOUSE CHANGE....
NOW I LIVE IN A VILLA,SO VERY QUITE FROM MY LAST FLAT IN AL-HAMBER,SOHAR NEAR MAIN ROAD....
MY NEW HOME IS GEM SURROUNDED BY LOTS OF FRESH AIR AND YOU CAN HEAR CHICKENS AND GOATS IN EARLY MORNING...
I LOVE IT HERE AND ITS SORT OF LIKE A HAVEN FOR ME NOW,.

YOU GOTTA DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT

WHATEVER HAPPENS,IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO IT THEN THERE IS NO STOPPING YOU..EVEN IF IT MEANS BREAKING ALL TIES AND BONDS IN ORDER TO DO IT....RULES NEVER MATTER..

EVER HAD THAT ONE COUSIN,WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE A ROLE MODEL?THE ONE WHICH EVERYONE IN YOUR FAMILY LIKES AND COMPARED TO YOU...SHE CAN COOK AND CLEAN AND SAME TIME MANAGE HER STUDIES EXCELLENTLY,OBEYS HER ELDERS AND HAVE THAT ANGELIC SMILE THAT YOU CANNOT ASSOCIATE WITH ANYTHING NAUGHTY OR EVIL?

WELL IN OUR FAMILY WE HAD ONE,WELL I HAVE NO EVIL BEARING TOWARDS HER OR HER FAMILY,SHE IS FAMILY AND I SUPPORT WHATEVER SHE THINKS IS RIGHT...ITS HER LIFE AND WHO ARE WE....I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE INDIAN MINDS THAT OPPOSES LOVE AND TREATS IT LIKE A EVIL THING...

SO IL RECAP WHAT HAPPENED...EVERYONE WAS IN THE LIVING ROOM AND I WAS PLAYING WITH MY CAT IN BEDROOM.. SUDDENLY MY MOM CALLED AND I WENT RELUCTANTLY TO HALL TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER AND SHE SHOWED ME A PHOTO OF MY COUSIN MARRYING A GUY..SOME UNKNOWN GUY..

THERE WAS MASS CONFUSION AND SOME UNFATHOMABLE REACTIONS FROM MY PARENTS..I CANNOT IDENTIFY THEIR EMOTION,IT WAS DISGUST MAYBE OR SADNESS OR SOME SORT OF TRAUMA OR EVERYTHING WITH A MIX OF ANGER...

THEY WERE CALLING HERE AND THERE TO KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS OF THIS PERSON AND ALL I COULD TELL WAS THAT IN INDIA THE GROOMS SOCIAL STATUS MATTERS,HE SHOULD BE EDUCATED AND SHOULD HAVE A WHITE COLLARED JOB AND GREAT LIVING STATUS SUCH THAT IT MATCHES THAT OF THE BRIDE....

SEEING HER IN RED SAREE WHERE SHE WAS SMILING,I FELT HAPPY SHE HAD THE COURAGE TO FOLLOW HER DREAMS AND GO WITH IT...I ALSO THOUGHT WHAT IF SHE WAS SITTING IN A HALL FILLED WITH HAPPY PEOPLE AND MARRYING A GUY WHO HERR PARENTS MIGHT HAVE ARRANGED FOR HER...SHE WOULD HAVE NOT HAVE THAT GLOW IN HER FACE....

HER BROTHER WHO LOVED HER SO MUCH,CHANGED HIS PROFILE PICTURE IN HIS FACEBOOK TO RIP (NAME) AND BELOW THAT THE DATE 1995-2016..IT WAS SAD TO SEE,BUT I KNOW ONE DAY IT ALL WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING...ALL THE TIES THAT SHE BROKE WILL REJOIN...

SOMETIMES WE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT WE FEEL IS RIGHT,EVEN IF IT MEANS TO HAVE A WHOLE PACK OF RELATIVES UNHAPPY..I KNOW SHE WILL MISS US ALL BUT I AM HAPPY FOR HER,SHE HAS THE CHOICE OF CHOOSING HER OWN DESTINY AND THAT HER PARENTS CANNOT ALWAYS CHOOSE FOR..I BELIEVE EVERY INDIAN GIRL HAS THE CHOICE TO LIVE WITH HER LOVED ONE,DESPITE HIS STATUS,CASTE OR RELIGION...IT DOESN'T MATTER CAUSE LOVE WILL ALWAYS BE ABOVE EVERYTHING....

I HOPE FOR THE BEST,AND WISH HER A VERY HAPPY MARRIED LIFE...

I am good for a while..
I'll talk more,laugh more...
Sleep and eat normally...
But then something happens.....

Like a switch turns off somewhere...
And all I am left with is the darkness of mind..
But each time it seem like I sink..
Deeper and deeper..
And I am scared...
Terrified that one day I won't make it back up..
I feel like I am gasping for air..
Screaming for help..
But everyone just looks at me...
With confused faces..
Wondering what i am struggling over...
When they're all doing just fine..
And it makes me feel crazy...

What the hell is wrong with me?

Inside she's a wreck;
When you see her she looks perfectly fine..
Deep down she is a mess...
When she's with you she looks happy..When she is alone she's fragile..
This girl is full of dreams...

She wants to escape   her town...

Meet new people,travel...

Explore the world..

Go on fun road trips 

at midnight..

And perhaps one day

She'll be truly happy...

And when you ask her

"Are you okay?"

for once she'll say,

"I'm fine."

And it wouldn't

Be a lie....

I act like everything is fine..
I laugh at people's jokes..
I do silly things with my friends..
I act like I have a carefree life...
It's funny though..

When I come back home..
I just turn off that mental switch..
Then suddenly I break down..
I feel alone,empty and tired...
I can't exactly describe how I feel into words...
It's like I have 2 different me's..
One for the public.. 
And one for myself..
Only if they knew.

Only if...

It seems I know her too...ever heard Christina Perri's lonely....

I'm a ghost of a girl who I want to be most...
I'm the shell of a girl who I used to know well....

Its okay to miss her..I miss her too...

It's ironic how depressed people understand the value of happiness more than people who claim to be happy.......

If I had the chance to kill myself without hurting the people I love,I'd do it.

Without thinking.

In a heartbeat 

HELLO EVERYONE... SINCE I HAVE A POSITIVE SIDE AND NEGATIVE SIDE..I DECIDED TO MAKE ANOTHER BLOG...A RATHER PERSONAL ONE..IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE PERSONAL ME THEN CHECK THE BELOW LINK

http://maniacanddepressed.blogspot.com/

A MEMORABLE DAY:IT HAPPENS THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A HAZE...

A FOG THAT DOESN'T GO AWAY,IT JUST CLINGS TO YOU TAKING YOUR BREATH AWAY...THE MONOTONY OF EVERYDAY LIFE,THE QUIETNESS AND THEN YOU WISH SIMPLY FOR THE DAY TO CHANGE,A WISH FOR SOMETHING UNEXPECTED, WISHING THAT TODAY WAS A DIFFERENT DAY AND THEN YOU START TO BELIEVE IT IS A DIFFERENT DAY AND SOMETHING NEW WILL HAPPEN....WELL THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY...

A FEW DAYS AGO,I WAS FILLED WITH ALL THE BRIMMING EMOTION TO GET OUT AND RUN AWAY BECAUSE THE ISOLATION WAS TOO OVERWHELMING THAT IT WAS KILLING ME FROM INSIDE

AND JUST YESTERDAY MORNING I THOUGHT "MAYBE IT WAS ME,EVERYTHING WAS NEGATIVE BECAUSE I WAS NEGATIVE"..AND I STARTED TO BELIEVE IT WILL CHANGE ONCE I AM POSITIVE..AND THAT IT WILL CHANGE....

EVERYTHING BEGAN AS A NORMAL DAY,AGGRAVATING AND SIMILAR TO ALL OTHER DAYS THAT USUALLY DEPRESSED ME,BUT SOMEHOW BY 11 am IT WAS PRETTY DIFFERENT,WE WERE GOING SOMEWHERE AND FOR ME ANYWHERE IS A GOOD THING THAT I HAVE BEEN LOCKED UP INSIDE THE SAME ROOM FOR SO MANY DAYS THAT I WAS LOOSING CONTROL OF MY MIND AND THOUGHTS...

THE PLACE WE WENT WAS AN AUDITORIUM AND PROVED TO BE A CHANGE OF ATMOSPHERE FOR ME..I WAS BACK AMONG A CROWD..THE DARK VEIL THAT SURROUNDED ME AT ALL TIMES REMOVED ITSELF..THERE WERE A LOT OF PEOPLE AROUND ME SUDDENLY..EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A NEW CROWD,THERE WERE LOT OF HAPPY AND SMILING ELDERS AND I SPOTTED FEW OF MY FRIENDS...I WAS STILL BEHIND MY MOTHER BOUND BY THE INVISIBLE CHAIN WANTING TO LAUGH OPENLY,TALK TO OTHERS OPENLY...

I AM AGAINST THE SUPPRESSIVE SYSTEM THEY PUT ME THROUGH EVERYDAY...I CAN LAUGH AND TALK LIKE ANY TEENAGER WOULD..I LIKE TO RUN TOO,FEELING THE WIND AGAINST MY FACE AND EVERYTHING GO AS A BLUR CAUSE IM HAPPY AND RUNNING FAST...I WANT A NORMAL LIFE OF ANY OTHER TEENAGER,MY PARENTS HAVE NO IDEA,HOW MUCH THEY ARE HORRIFYING MY CHILDHOOD...

AFTER FEW MOMENTS OF SITTING THERE WATCHING THE PROGRAM,ONE OF MY FRIEND TOOK ME AWAY,I WAS EQUALLY SCARED IF MY MOTHER WOULD STEP IN AND STOP ME FROM SITTING WITH HER..HER FACE WAS ANGRY,MILD LINES SHOWED ON HER FACE WHICH SHE TRIED TO MASK AMONG THE CROWD...

EVEN THOUGH I WAS UNDER THE VIEW OF MY MOTHER,SHE FEARFUL THAT I MAY DISREGARD THE ISOLATION THEY HAVE FORCED TO MY LIFE AND I FEARFUL OF HER TAKING BACK THE NEW FREEDOM TO LAUGH AND TALK LIKE ANY OTHER TEEN..

I LAUGHED YESTERDAY TRULY HAPPY ON THE INSIDE.....

SOMETIMES U ONLY REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE LOST ONLY WHEN YOU LOSE THEM...

TAKING A STEP FRONT

THANKYOU-SHIVAGAMI,GLORIA ,VIGNESH AND GLORIA FOR MAKING A DAY DIFFERENT...

I THINK I HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER ITS BEEN DAYS THAT I AM FEELING EQUALLY ELATED BUT ALSO HIGHLY DEPRESSED THAT SOMETIME WHEN I WAKE UP,ITS MADDENING ME....

I HAVE EXPERIENCED MOOD SWINGS SO GREAT THAT I WAS SO NORMAL YESTERDAY AND WENT TO A TEARY MESS JUST AFTER A FEW UN-HARMFUL ARGUMENTS WITH MY SISTER..I REMEMBER CRYING,IT WAS NIGHT THE LIGHTS WERE OFF..AND WHEN I WAKE UP,IT WAS ALREADY 2 AM.. 




IT WAS MADDENING TO SEE MY WRISTS WERE CUT AND I CANT TELL HOW THE TIME FLEW...I DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP AFTER THAT..I DIDN'T WANT TO DISTURB MY FRIENDS BECAUSE TODAY IS A VERY HAPPY DAY SO WHY DISTURB THEM..I FEEL LIKE A BURDEN AT TIMES..YET A FEW DAYS BACK OR EVEN YESTERDAY I FELT I WAS INVINCIBLE..


I AM HAPPY BUT EQUALLY SAD,I GET ANGRY VERY FAST AND ELATED... I FIND MYSELF CRACKING JOKES AND IN NEXT MOMENT CRYING FROM THE INSIDE..BURSTING TO COME OUT... I KNOW I NEED HELP... I KNOW I WANT HELP...BUT MY PARENTS ARE INDIAN AND THEY WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO COME IN TERMS THAT THEIR DAUGHTER IS ILL THAT TOO MENTALLY......


I DON'T KNOW FOR WHAT REASON,TODAY I GOOGLED UP DEPRESSION AND SOMEHOW IT DOESN'T SUIT ME...THEN I SEE SOME TAGS OF BIPOLAR...SOMETHING SOMEHOW MADE ME BELIEVE IT.... MOST PEOPLE WHO PERSONALLY KNOW ME, DOES KNOW THAT I AM MANIAC AT TIMES AND COME UP WITH WEIRD IDEAS.... BUT THEY DON'T KNOW MY SAD SIDE....SOME DO..

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS WRONG... WHY DO I ATTEMPT SUICIDE,THIS HAS BEEN THE SECOND ONE IN THIS MONTH...MY WRIST HAS DARK PURPLE LINES ONE IT NOW..I BARELY CAN HIDE IT ANYMORE..YESTERDAY NIGHT I COULD'NT THINK OF ANYTHING BUT GETTING SOME ANTI-DEPRESSANTS FROM THE PHARMACY BELOW(THEY NEED PRESCRIPTION)...

MY ROOM IS MESS,I DON'T WANT TO CLEAN IT UP... I WANT TO BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE CLEANING IT UP...I HAVEN'T BRUSHED FOR GOD KNOWS HOW MANY DAYS,,,MY BEAUTIFUL LONG HAIR NEVER TANGLES NOR DO I BRUSH IT...I HAVEN'T EATEN IN AGES...I FEEL NUMB...ITS HOPELESSNESS AROUND ME..I HAVE NO APPETITE,NO PAIN OR NO EMOTIONS...I FEEL INHUMANE,LIKE A ZOMBIE...


 I SIT HERE LOOKING BLANKLY AT THE SCREEN...I WATCH MOVIE BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS ABOUT... I GUESS I LIKE THE MANIAC SIDE(THE UP-SIDE) BUT WHAT DRAINS ME IS THIS DOWN SIDE THAT I CAN'T COPE WITH...  

THE PRETTY LITTLE THINGS:

TO ME THE LITTLE THINGS ALWAYS MATTER,THE LITTLE THINGS THAT THEY DO IS WHAT MAKES THEM UNIQUE...NOW WHAT ARE THE LITTLE THINGS?

SOMETIMES THEY SAY"IT WILL BE ALRIGHT.." OR "ITS OKAY,YOU ARE FAR OFF BETTER"...IS ALL WHAT IT TAKES TO BE NORMAL AND AT PEACE AGAIN.....I WONDER WHAT IT WOULD FEEL LIKE IF NO ONE SAYS SUCH THINGS TO OTHERS ANYMORE...IT WOULD BE A STRANGE WORLD,STRANGER THAN IT IS RIGHT NOW...

THE SMILES OR A STANDARD WISH "GOOD MORNING IS ALL WHAT TAKES TO BRIGHTEN UP ONE'S DAY...I ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS...EVEN IF IT IS VIA COMMENTS OR IN PERSON,OR ANYWAY...ALWAYS KNOW THAT I WILL CHERISH IT...

I STARTED OFF THIS BLOG WITH FUNNY MEMES OF DOGS AND CATS THAT I FOUND IN THE INTERNET...THEN THE TINY TINY THINGS THAT HAPPEN AROUND ME OR TO ME...IT SOMETIMES DOESN'T MATTER IF ITS TOO PERSONAL OR ANYTHING BUT I FEEL TO SHARE ALL THOSE THINGS...

NOW I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD WRITE MORE ,MAYBE MY PAST AND BACKGROUND AND EVERYTHING..

I AM THE ONE IN THE RIGHT(BELOW)IN WHITE AND BLUE SAREE

I WANT TO GO ON A JOURNEY:FOR SOME PEOPLE ADVENTURE COMES NATURALLY,ITS JUST THAT I AM NOT ONE OF THEM....

SINCE LAST MONTH I HAVE YEARNED TO GO ON A SPIRITUAL SEARCH............

I CAN SAY MOST OF THE IDEA HAD COME FROM THE BOOK 'EAT PRAY LOVE' BY ELIZABETH GILBERT...

IT HAS BEEN A FEW DAYS THAT I WANTED TO GO ON THE SAME SEARCH OF WHAT I WANT IN LIFE,FOR HER IT WAS ITALIAN AND FOR ME SPANISH...I SIMPLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK IN SPANISH,NOT FOR ANY REASON BUT JUST TO MAKE MYSELF COMPLETE.....

I LOVE IT HERE,I AM CONTENTED BUT IM LIKE MOST OF YOU,I WANT MORE... SOMETHING MORE TO HAPPEN...THERE HAS BEEN THIS FEELING ALL ALONG,EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT CERTAIN ITS GOOD OR BAD..I JUST WANT TO EXPERIENCE SOMETHING NEW...

MANY AT TIMES WE FIND BOOKS SAY THAT LOVE IS A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE,BUT SO IS SILENCE AND HATE AND EVERY EMOTION THAT ONE GO THROUGH,THAT'S WHY IT WAS CREATED IN THE FIRST PLACE....

I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS IN STORE FOR ME,BUT I AM READY TO ACCEPT IT,CHERISH IT,AND GAIN KNOWLEDGE...

SO HERE ARE SOME PENCIL DRAWINGS THAT I MADE...

CLICK!

Its not so clear,pardon the lighting and poor quality image

THE JOY OF DANCING:

TRUTH BE TOLD,I NEVER DANCE...WELL ALMOST TO A NEVER IF YOU DON'T CALL THE OCCASIONAL PRANCING ABOUT HEARING A GOOD SONG, WHICH IS VERY RARE...BUT....

DANCING WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO NEVER CRITICIZE OR LAUGH OR EVEN COMMENT ABOUT MY AWKWARD AND WEIRD STEPS,MADE ME FEEL A LOT MORE LIGHTER AND AGAIN BROUGHT A FEELING OF TOGETHERNESS ..

LEAVING ASIDE THE FACT THAT WE HAVE THE PROGRAM JUST AFTER TWO DAYS AND THAT WE STARTED PRACTICING TODAY..AND ALSO THE FACT THAT I'M A NEW DANCER,WHICH BASICALLY MEANS I NEED ATLEAST 5-8 MINUTES JUST FOR A SINGLE STEP,EVERYTHING IS GOING QUITE GOOD...

I'M BOTH EXCITED AS WELL AS SCARED ABOUT THE PROSPECT OF DANCING IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL AND ALSO WEARING A RATHER RESTRICTIVE TRADITIONAL DRESS...PRAY THAT I DON'T FALL...

I FEEL LIKE THE DAYS GO TOO FAST,YET MEMORABLE EACH DAY...SOMETIMES IT FEELS GOOD TO BE PART OF SOMETHING...

GIVE US BEST WISHES